Rat wicket-keeping

So, today is Saturday - exactly a week since we lost our Taylor. I awoke this morning (late - hey, it's a Saturday!) and ran to do an audit of Rat Towers to ensure that we still had a full complement of breathing rodents. Luckily all seemed to be present and correct, although it was difficult to do a full head-count since most of the 19 inhabitants seemed to be piled up in just the one of their several hammocks. Colin (recently-appointed Favourite Rat) appeared to be at the bottom of the pile - slight eye bulge and, I'm sure, acute pins and needles in his hand which was sticking out of the cage in what appeared to be a small rodent plea for salvation but seemed to be otherwise in fine fettle. There was a mass snoring session in full throttle and some determined clenching of eyelids as rats refused to wake up to be made much of. All except for the one rat. Simon.

The title of this missive "Rat wicket-keeping" may appear to be a tad mysterious, but all will become clear as I go on to explain Simon's latest little party-trick. Daddy Rat isn't the favourite human of the occupants of Rat Towers - I hold that position since I'm the one that does the feeding and the cuddling and am generally the hand-maiden to the masses - but he has struck up a relationship with young Simon. Simon is our one and only dumbo rat, and called "Simon" after my son because of the big feet and big ears belonging to the human holder of the name (it's a long story... involves lots of gouging and scratching and name-calling) and is probably the most affectionate person in Rat Towers. He's also a great wag - a natural entertainer (the rat Simon, not the human Simon or Daddy Rat) who will do much to draw attention to himself, including climbing up the clothing of anybody who comes in range and subsequently entering said clothing via sleeves, neck-lines or in the absence of both of these by chewing a Simon-sized hole to effect his entry. His latest trick when anybody opens the cage door is to go to the back of Rat Towers and then to burst into a sprint towards said door and to launch himself at terrific speed at whoever happens to be standing there. He doesn't appear to be concerned with risk-assessing his landing before engaging in the jump - he has great faith in his ability to defeat gravity - and so far hasn't actually been proved wrong. This isn't in fact due to Isaac Newton's theory being incorrect all along, but owes more to the fact that myself and Daddy Rat have developed an inspiring array of atheletic and graceful diving techniques to ensure Simon doesn't plummet earth-wards.

Hence the new skill I've included on my CV: Rat wicket-keeping.